Happiness: A Choice, Not a Destination
Happiness… this mysterious thing we’re always searching for. Trust me when I say this: You don’t just stumble upon happiness like a lost puppy on the street. Happiness isn’t something that magically appears when you reach a certain milestone or achieve a particular goal. Happiness is something you choose.
I know, I know. That might sound overly simplistic or even a little cliché. But hear me out.
I recently watched an amazing TED talk by an incredibly strong woman, Tia Graham. She talks about the power of choosing happiness. (If you haven’t seen it, go watch it!) It made me stop and reflect—really reflect—on my own life. Both past and present.
And let me tell you, I haven’t always been happy. In fact, I spent years convinced that happiness was some kind of scam, some unattainable dream that was meant for others but not for me.
I had everything—or at least what society told me should make me happy. A beautiful farmhouse. Horses. A loving dog. Two cars. A comfortable home. And, of course, two demanding jobs to pay for it all.
Sound familiar?
I was living life in the fast lane. Hustling. Grinding. Always running but never feeling like I was getting anywhere. I was exhausted. Stressed. And worst of all, I was numb. I kept telling myself, “Maybe this is just how life is. Maybe happiness is a myth.”
Then, life forced me to slow down.
I found myself on long-term sick leave. Suddenly, I had way too much time to think. And when you stop running for the first time in years, it’s scary. All those thoughts you pushed aside? They come rushing in like a tidal wave.
And I had a realization. A painful but necessary one.
I had to do something different. I had to make a change.
I had to choose happiness. And so can you.
Choosing Happiness: The Hard Truth
First things first: Choosing happiness isn’t easy.
Life is tough. It throws curveballs when you least expect them. It tests you. But here’s the thing—while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you respond.
Happiness isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about intentionally creating moments of joy, peace, and fulfillment. It’s about taking back control over your mindset. And it starts with small, conscious choices every single day.
Here are some steps that helped me, and I hope they help you too.
1) Start With the Simple Things
We often think we need to make drastic changes to be happy. Quit our jobs. Move to another country. Buy a fancy car. But sometimes, happiness is found in the smallest of things.
Set aside time for you.
Do something that lights you up, something that makes you feel like you again. Maybe it’s painting, dancing, baking, gardening, or playing an instrument. For me, it’s writing.
I used to love writing, but life got so busy that I stopped. Then, one day, I picked up my pen again. And here I am, writing this post. When I write, I feel a sense of calm. I’m present. Focused. Everything else fades away.
What’s that thing for you?
Even something as simple as drinking a cup of tea can be a form of happiness. Try this: Make yourself a cup of tea, sit in your favorite chair, and do nothing but enjoy it. Notice the warmth of the mug in your hands, the aroma, the taste. Let yourself be in the moment. That’s mindfulness. And it’s a game-changer.
2) Write Down Your Dreams
Not the dreams you have at night, but the dreams you have for your life.
Because here’s the thing—dreams that stay in your head? They’re just fantasies. But when you write them down, they become goals. And goals? Goals can be achieved.
Take a few minutes to write down what you truly want. What kind of life do you dream of? What experiences do you long for?
Then, break it down.
Ask yourself: How do I get from where I am now to where I want to be? What steps can I take—no matter how small—to move in that direction?
Maybe your dream is to go backpacking through Asia. Or to finally have a work-life balance. Or to live a simpler, more intentional life. Whatever it is, put it in writing. Then start taking action, one step at a time.
For me, happiness means living simply. Slowing down. Being present. And choosing to embrace each moment as it comes.
3) Create a Morning Routine That Sets You Up for Success
If you snooze, you lose.
Literally.
I used to hit the snooze button at least three times before dragging myself out of bed. And you know what that did? It started my day with stress. Rushing. Feeling behind before I even began.
Now, I do things differently.
Most mornings, I wake up before my alarm. I make myself a cup of tea and take a few deep breaths. I choose to start my day with intention. I tell myself, Today is going to be a good day. Today, I choose happiness.
Yes, I actually say it out loud. Three times. (Maybe I’m a little superstitious, but hey, the number three is supposed to be lucky, right?)
Then, I do some simple yoga stretches to wake up my body and get the blood flowing.
And you know what? It makes a difference.
Your morning routine doesn’t have to look like mine. But create one that makes you feel good. That helps you start the day on the right note.
And if you skip a day? No big deal. Just get back to it the next day. No guilt. No shame. Just consistency.
The Hard Days: What to Do When Happiness Feels Impossible
Let’s be real—some days, choosing happiness feels impossible.
Maybe you’re going through something heavy. Maybe life has knocked you down, and you don’t have the energy to get back up.
That’s okay.
Choosing happiness doesn’t mean ignoring pain. It doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It means allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel, while also remembering that joy still exists—even in the smallest moments.
On tough days, start small.
Take a deep breath. Step outside and feel the sun on your skin. Play your favorite song. Hug someone you love. Do one tiny thing that brings you even the slightest sense of comfort.
Because happiness isn’t about being joyful all the time. It’s about choosing, again and again, to seek light—even when things feel dark.
Final Thoughts: Happiness Is a Journey
Here’s the truth: Happiness isn’t a destination.
It’s not a place you “arrive” at after checking off all the right boxes. It’s a continuous, lifelong journey. Some days will be easier than others. Some days will be really freaking hard. But every day, you have a choice.
A choice to slow down. A choice to find joy in the little things. A choice to pursue the life you truly want. A choice to be kind to yourself. A choice to say, Today, I choose happiness.
And that? That’s powerful.
So, what about you? How do you choose happiness? Let’s talk in the comments